Dear You...

(I've made this into a video! Click here.)

quora.com

I don't know you. I don't know your history. I don't know your background. I don't know your beliefs and principles that you hold in your life. Thus, I am not eligible at all to judge you.

I am not perfect either. We all make mistakes. We are all improving in life.

In life, things are constantly out of hands. Sometimes we feel that we have little to no control in our lives. And that is partially true, depending on your perspective.

So, when we make mistakes, or at least what is deemed as mistakes, we will tend to either blame ourselves, or blame others. Or even both.

Blame ourselves for not knowing.
Blame ourselves for not trying to do what's right
Blame ourselves for not doing what's right.
Blame ourselves for not resisting ourselves to do what's wrong.

Then,
Blame our parents for not raising us right.
Blame our friends for taking us to the wrong alley.
Blame our surroundings that won't even try to help.
Blame people around for not understanding.
Blame God for creating the whole messed up things for us, and then just leave us alone to solve it.

Sounds familiar, right?
It is, because everyone goes through this.
I do. They do. You do. We all do.

What varies though, is what happen next.
So many people only get stuck on doing mistakes, and then blaming. And then nothing happens. So it becomes a cycle that repeats itself, over and over.
Because they think that is the end. When you get into trouble, just blame someone. Problem solved.

But it doesn't solve any problem. It is just an end of one cycle. Which is usually a beginning for another cycle.

Like I said, we all blame certain things when we do something, that is particularly wrong.
So, is it really their fault?
If it is their fault, can they fix it?
If they fix it, will that solve your problems?
If it is not their fault, or if they are not able to fix it, what can YOU do to fix it?

Yes, maybe it is your parents' fault that you didn't grow up right. But you are a grown up who are able to think maturely now. You CAN do something about it.
Yes, maybe your friends took you to the wrong alley. But, eventhough not as easy, you can 'unfriend' them in real life, just like how you unfriend someone online. You CAN do something about it.
Yes, maybe people around won't understand and help you. But you can go find another circle of people that will understand and help you. You CAN do something about it.
Yes, maybe God did leave you with a bunch of mess. But it's not permanent. You can fix the mess. You CAN do something about it.

Remember I told you that we have little to no control in our lives? And that is partially true?
Well, this is the other, more significant part. You don't have ALL control in your lives, but you have some.

Blaming someone, even if it is true that they are wrong, won't solve anything.
Acting to do something, will solve your problems.

If it is really their fault, ask them to fix it. That is an action.
If it is or own fault, change ourselves. That is an action.
If it is totally out of things that you don't have access to, go with the flow and see how you can benefit. That is an action.

That is what we should do.
Like I said, we all blame others,
But are we all taking the next step?