Kelly Telly

I went to a conference about two years ago, about abuse prevention. There was one particular thing, that rang into my mind, up until this day. I've shared this with a few people, but I believe now I am ready to make this public. Firstly, trigger warning: sexual abuse. And particularly we're going to talk about today, is child-on-child sexual abuse. Yikes, I know. What a very uncomfortable topic to touch upon. But please bear with me. Because at the very end of this post, I am going to give a glimpse of hope to everyone. Yeah, I know that sounds weird to talk about amidst this issue, but trust me & stay with me until the end. Firstly, the word child-on-child abuse itself fascinates me. I’ve always thought only adults abuse children. But if we look it different angle, it’s completely logical to deduce that children can also abuse other children. For example, if a parent physically abuses a child, he would do it repeatedly, systematically, plant fear & obedience in the chi...

Take a look at this Instagram post that I've found: As you all know, I'm all about exposing honest truth about higher education, rather than promoting 'best-case scenario' to attract people to it, as I believe informed decision is a way to empower our youths. So let's dissect this together! ✊🏼 Firstly, yes, there is not much job opportunity in the psychology field if you got the bachelor's degree. Only after getting a Master's degree, you would be qualified to be a psychologist. (Yes, there is more job opportunity outside of psychology field. I'm just focusing into the field itself). And I was shocked, when I found out about this, ONLY after enrolling into the field. And take note, I already researched about psychology for years before even enrolling. With that being said, I love psychology with all of my heart, and I view this as a misunderstanding rather than a scheme. After enrolling, I believe that pursuing career in psychology is similar with pursu...

Let me tell you, the story of my SPM results. I still remember the day when I got onto the stage and get the results. Hurriedly going down the stage, it's natural to be so eager and curious to look into each subject. It was at that moment, when I encountered one of the biggest mysteries of my life. Bahasa Inggeris      A Bahasa Arab           A+ Nope, you're not reading it wrong. Even I got confused for a second. I got an A on the subject of English language. A very good grade which I am very satisfied about. But that's not the catch. The catch is, I got an A+ on a subject where its language is far from my real-life mastery and application. A subject that I thought would be a miracle if I got just a B. How could this happen? Could the grades of the subjects have been switched? I started learning English as long as I can remember. Cartoons like Blue's Clues and Dora the Explorer were my favourite shows to watch. Even from kindergarten, I start...

  I think it is quite a general knowledge that Islam prohibits any form of sexual activities before marriage. So technically, the concept of 'consent' is not really there, in terms of premarital sex. With that being said, some said the concept of 'consent' is totally non-existent in Islam, that women are sex slaves to their husbands, and must obey whatever their husbands want, even if she does not want or unable to do so. Women who did so are labelled as disobedient wives and would be sent to hell! Is this true? Based on my observation, when we're talking about consent, there are 2 context; general and specific. General - sex is okay is everyone as long as he/she consents. Specific - sex is ONLY okay with someone when he/she consents. In regards to the first context, the answer is clear; sex is not okay with everyone, even if he/she consents. Sex is ONLY okay with your spouse in Islam. "When one of you have sex with your wife, it is a rewarded act of charity....

Fear is not one of the pleasant emotions. And yet, it stays as one of the basic emotions. As much as we want to get rid of this emotion, we couldn’t. Perhaps it’s for our own best interest, for while the emotion of fear is unpleasant, the fear itself is useful in so many ways. 1. Healthy fear is a sign of a normal human. We humans are full of wonders, with both our capabilities and our imperfection. Fear is one of it, a sign reassuring that no matter how brave we want to go through the world, at the end of the day, we are still imperfect humans. So embrace that imperfection of yours. 2. Healthy fear is a tool to calculate risk. Having no fear at all can cause us to be blind to the consequences of our actions. Having overwhelming, unhealthy fear would cause to not take action at all. Thus, having a healthy fear makes us calculates rationally on the risks that we are facing, and help us to be prepared for the sake risk, while in the same time gives us hope for the thing to actually succe...

It's the start of the new year in the Islamic calendar (1442 hijrah). When better time to reflect on the goals that I've set in the beginning of the year? I've written all of these even before 2020 starts, and I put them as the first thing I'd see when I open my laptop. Let's see how much I've came along. 1. Publishing Building Career in the year of 2020 🔁 I guess, you could say I did it?  I mean, I did intend to publish as a whole. But things take time, and that is totally okay. The theory is so new and unclaimed, I need researches continuously (and will always be!) And I'm more than happy just being able to release the very first, rough version of it 🙂 At least now I have a concrete documentation on this particular topic that I can show to people. No longer I can claim this is merely on top of my head. That 🔁 indicates that while I did do it, I would do it again, i.e I would continue to update it as time goes by. 2. Internship ❌😐 Ah, COVID-19 pandemic ...

Truthfully, I am really grateful that in this time & age, mental health awareness is increasing as ever. But, people has been fighting on what cures mental illness, and what not. For example, people have been falling between two extremes on whether being religious have any positive impact on any mental disorder. Some strongly agree and some strongly does not see the correlation. I'm not here to talk about that. I told my story already here. But I believe this happens because people actually got mixed up on what is mental illness, what is mental condition, and what is not. So let's get this straight once & for all! 1. (Depressed) Mood/feeling (I put depressed in bracket, because it can be replaced with any emotions; anxious, even happy. But we'll take depressed as an example to show all along the post, so we can visualize it easier) It's a mood, a feeling, that lasts relatively in a small amount of time, from minutes to hours. Probably the longe...

Muslims, are you Mukmins? Do you believe in Allah as God & Prophet Muhammad as His messenger? Really? Do you really believe that all the injustice in this world is due to His will? Do you really believe that all of your sufferings are being compensated by Him? Do you really believe that when you die, you will come back alive & be judged for all that you do? Can you actually paint in your mind how Judgement Day really is? The mass of crowds, the sins portrayed, the path to the heaven, and all the people falling from that path, falling to the depths of fire of the eternal hell? Do you believe Prophet Muhammad is the most loving person, that you can actually picture how he is walking & greeting children as he passes by? Do you? My point is, do you believe whatever you believe now, to the point that when I talk about that, all of your five senses are actually perceiving them? Don’t worry, not guilt-tripping anyone here! And I'm not saying if you don't,...

This pandemic could've been the worst thing that's ever happened to you, and I empathize that. But let's not pretend that this pandemic to some people could've been the best thing that's ever happened to them. It happened to me. Due to this pandemic, I am home all the time now, compared to the past 3 years, devoting my services to help my parents. I found a way of reaching out to communities that are more positive & lift me up, rather than the old communities I'm stuck with that drained my energy. I've been eating more healthily & have workout plans. I've been forced to think & do things that I've always tell myself to manage after graduation - career, relationships, family, just to name a few. I've invested into mentorships & more informal classes. I've been forced to prioritize what really, REALLY, matters now. (For example, I don't have a closet anymore! Since I have very limited number of clothes only). During this pan...

One of the byproduct of anxiety is the inability to make actions because of being too overwhelmed by choices, or consequences of the choices. I remembered this crystal clear as I begin to embark my journey getting my bachelor’s degree. As soon as I pick a choice, my fear of missing out of the other choices, & the possibility of messing up the first choice, grow. And as time went by, they slowly become more social-centric. I would be too afraid to just say hi to other people, to socialize, to talk about my interest, because of the uninvited, overwhelming, irrational fear. And I know it’s not something that I can just shake it out. At that moment, I knew, what I was experiencing is not normal. I’m not self-diagnosing of having anxiety disorder, but I know it wasn’t a normal anxious feeling. Ultimately, I identify as being highly socially anxious. And this anxiety, this fear, makes me unable to communicate with my housemates. And even during the time where I wanted to, when I needed t...

How we wish people do not judge us. But unfortunately we ourselves cannot stop judging others. And I do not mean this is a bad way! I mean, we want to stop judging others, but we can’t. Technically because it is wired in our brain. ‘Judgement’ is just a label that we slap onto our instant unverified thoughts. What happens actually is, our brain make shortcut thoughts, accumulated from our experiences, beliefs and personalities, to be more efficient. In addition, our brain purposely favors the ‘bad’ judgements over a good one, for the sake of survival. So how can we stop our judgement towards others? Let’s be honest – we can’t. It is a part of human brain functioning. In fact, removing it as a whole would be even more harmful to us. But… We can greatly minimize its effect that causes discrimination… by just minding our own business. Literally. Like I said, we cannot stop ourselves from judging others, both consciously and unconsciously. But it can stay just as an assumption that we wou...

From my childhood, up until my late teens, I loved reading so much. I could finish 3 200-pages books in just 1 week. And I liked to re-read them, at least 3 times, then only I would say I have read the book. And gradually my interest shifted from fiction books to non-fiction books. If reading books is personalized into a boyfriend of mine, then I would say we have a perfect relationship. We complete each other, fulfil each other, and we are inseparable. Until I went into university. Going into university meaning I get to use my phone fully, and a personal laptop is a must. In simple words, life gets more digital. I got (properly) introduced to social media & streaming services. It didn't take long enough for them to be my new bae. As a result, even a 100-pages book is hard enough to complete in 3 months. It's that drastic of change. It got me thinking, do I not like to read? Is it a bad thing? I'm not interested in debating questions where the answers ...