My Father Became Uncool Because of Me

Not too long ago I had a chance to take a look at my father's old photo, ranging from his high school days, until the first years of his marriage with my mother.

Looking at those photos, I can deduce one thing; he was a cool guy.

He was handsome and his clothes were dope.
He was that prefect in school that everyone adored.
He was quite strong too, considering his active participation in sports and marching.
He had all of those strengths that you would find in the most men today in their teens and twenties.
He fulfilled all of the criteria that would make girls, heck including me, to have a crush on him.

Unfortunately all of these are the things that I only saw in the photos, instead of experiencing it by myself. Now my father have passed the golden age of 50.
He does not look that attractive anymore.
He is not that healthy anymore. He would get frequent headaches.
He frequently misplaces his glasses.
His garments are old-fashioned.

Instead of looking cool, in my eyes he just seemed like a smiley dork. I mean, it was not that I didn't appreciate the smile, but wouldn't it be cooler if he just acts cooler? Like the way he used to be cool in his old days?

Like every other teenage girls, most of us dream to have cool fathers. But most fathers are usually not cool, right?
But why though? Especially when they were actually cool in the first place.

I looked at the pictures again. From his school years, until him working, marrying my mother and finally carrying me after I was born.
There was a photo of him changing my diaper.
There was a photo of him getting wet at the waterpark with me.
There was a photo of him making funny faces so that I would laugh.
There was a photo of him trying to calm me down because apparently (and ironically), for reasons that I still cannot comprehend until today. I used to be scared of the camera, and I would cry like I've seen a ghost when my pictures were taken.

It hit me there.
My father became uncool because of me.
My father became uncool because he needed to take care of me.

In order to make sure his daughter lives well, would he even care to think if he's still attractive or not?
In order to make sure his daughter lives well, does that not make his health gradually decline?
In order to make sure his daughter lives well, does that not deteriorate his short-term memory, like where did he put his glasses minutes ago?
In order to make sure his daughter lives well, would he even care about what he's wearing?

To girls watching this, now don't be so horrified.
Don't feel like it's all your fault.
Don't feel like your dad will be better off without you.
Try to imagine yourself instead.

Soon you'll fulfill your dream of finding the love of your life, getting married and having kids. Apart from having a cool dad, that is also one of girls' biggest dreams.
In order to make sure your kids live well, would you even care to think if you're still attractive or not?
In order to make sure your kids lives well, does that not make your health gradually decline?
In order to make sure your kids lives well, does that not deteriorate your short-term memory?
In order to make sure your kids lives well, would you even care about what you're wearing?

Children, don't worry, it's not your fault.
Don't you yourself have a dream of getting married and having children?
Don't you want to raise your kids in the best way possible?
Put that dream side by side with the desire wanting to look or be cool.
Raising children is such a noble job, and sacrifice is a must. That desire is just one of the small thing that belong in the sacrifice, that maybe you in the future will not even think about it anymore.

Parents, don't worry, it's not your fault.
Having children are biologically designed to change both the mother and the father physically, mentally, and even physiologically. This will make childbearing and raising children easier and more natural.
Yes, you lose things that you had before you have children. But you yourself have made the conscious decision to raise children. That coolness that you had worth far less compare to you succeeding in raising your children. You might even don't even think about it, until you come across this post.

I am not writing this to point fingers at anybody or make anybody feel bad. Not myself, not you, not anyone.
It's just that, I've always seen children being embarrassed with their parents. Be it for their job, their sense of fashion, their corny jokes, etc.
I just write this to bring a new perspective, especially to us, the children. Most of the things that our parents do or have that embarrass us, are the things that come up because of us existing in the world ourselves.

To children, be grateful for you parents. They are trying their very best now to improve themselves, especially for you. What you deemed to be cool, hip & young, they are trying their best to keep up, although their biology and mental don't fit anymore for it. That's why it's awkward. So be grateful. Try to improve yourself too as much as possible, to ease things up with your parents. You need that more than your parents actually.

To parents, as long as you live, parenting is not over yet. Loving your children is not over yet. Making sure your children are happy is not over yet.
Try your best to make them happy. Don't push yourself, but do try your best.
 Most importantly, thank you, to all of the parents that ever existed in this world, for everything they have done for their children to have the best lives they can get.

Especially to my father now,
thank you.
Thank you for everything that you do,
big or small,
whether I realize it or not,
to raise me to be who am I now. It would be near to impossible for me to be where am I now without you.
Thank you for every sacrifice that you've done in order to ensure that I get the best life that I can get.
Thank you for every drop of blood, sweat and tears that you endure to protect me.
Thank you very much.

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