GaryVee, or Gary Vaynerchuck, is a Belarusian American entrepreneur, New York Time's best selling author, speaker & internet personality. First known as a wine critic who expanded his family's wine business, Vaynerchuk is best known for his work in digital marketing & social media as the chairman of New York-based communications company, VaynerX, and as CEO of VaynerX subsidiary, VaynerMedia.
At least, that is what Wikipedia told me.
I’ve been following him for quite a long time. I remembered following him from an ad on Instagram. So that means… around 2 years? He’s bold his words, and he does not afraid to tell the truth right onto your face. I’m talking about the truth that everyone knows but cannot bear to hear.
You know what I’m talking about.
Disclaimer for those who don’t like to hear strong` languages. He does have a
curse-free YouTube channel though.
One thing that he claims for sure; he is a pure breed entrepreneur. And I couldn’t agree more; he’s a successful businessmen, selling a lot of different things (like from sneakers to… wine? Just a lot of stuff), able to give predictions on the future of entrepreneurship, and having the ability to read consumer’s behavior.
So, obviously a lot of his quotes are business-related. For the particular quotes that I’m about to share, it’s about making content on social media.
Halfway already of me babbling, you might be anticipating of what business advice that I’ve taken to the heart & implement it in order to grow a successful business.
But, despite that, I’m actually not talking about business at all here.
These quotes actually changed my social lives.
If you already followed me, you might already know that I’m having issues with my social life.
Just Say Hi depicts social anxiety,
I Like Being Alone tells the story my loneliness, in addition of a few other blog posts.
Gary always repeats his quotes everywhere. Meaning, I’ve heard them already before this ‘revelation’. But these 2 quotes in particular came up at once in an IGTV video that I watched.
The first quote is this:
"Perfection is the disguise for insecurity."
At first, I didn’t quite understand it.
But when I tried to reflect it on my social life, it all makes sense.
I admit one of the things that contributes to my social issues is overthinking.
If I go for a handshake instead of a fist-bump, they’ll think I’m the worst kid ever.
If I stutter for even a basic question, they’ll label me weird.
If suddenly an awkward silence occurs, they’ll never want to talk to me anymore.
See? Overthinking. It sucks.
But, if I am secure enough, why am I afraid of wrong hand gestures, answering basic questions & awkward silence?
Because, as a result of thinking that way, not only I become too conscious of my mistakes,
I’ve started to judge others for the same mistakes that I did!
See? That is insecurity. Disguised as perfection. You get it now?
So, post-revelation, I tried to be more accepting of my mistakes. Genuinely, it’s hard to do. But once I do it, it’s very liberating. No more overthinking. No more beating myself up too much for mistakes I didn’t intend to.
Wrong hand gestures? Let’s laugh it off together.
Stutters? Just take a deep breath, and start over.
Awkward silence? Nah, it’s just silence. If you’re comfortable with it, it’s not awkward. I’m free to talk when I want to, and not talk (initiate) when I don’t want to.
The second quote is:
"You don't decide what's quality, the market does."
Again, a quick glance, this guy is definitely talking about business.
But I (kind of) successfully apply this to my social life.
Because it’s so related with the first quote.
Like I said, when I overthink about my moves, I automatically judge others’ moves too.
So, when I stop doing that to myself, I stop doing that to others.
Suddenly those things that are bugging me, like people giving me wrong hand gestures (and me onto them), people stuttering to my basic questions (and me onto them), and awkward silence, don’t bug me anymore.
That is where I realize, that
if I can change how I perceive others, than the others can also change their perception in me.
If my perception varies even within myself in a period of time, obviously people also have various perception of me.
Some people like certain aspects of me, some people don’t.
Some people like certain aspects of me for a certain period of time, and then they don’t.
With that many variations, why should I bother crafting the so-called ‘perfect me’, if the ‘perfect me’ is different for each & every person that I meet?
Rather than perfection, it’s about
adaptation; mingling with others in your own way, and then matching it up to their level.
They are the ones who will ultimately decide whether or not to socialize with me again, according to their own perception & preferences. And if they decide not to, that’s completely okay. I can talk about other’s judgement here, but let’s save it for another day.
In conclusion, it’s actually about combatting that all-or-nothing mindset. Perfection doesn’t exist. We all, individually, are work in progress. Though we’re not perfect, we have that limitless potential of improving ourselves in every aspect of life.
So, just do your best.
That is perfect enough.
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