This video interests me. It's about how this couple could not enjoy themselves, in their own wedding! They bought food, spent money, and made the wedding enjoyable to everyone but themselves.
This is a typical yet saddening reality. We give all out, especially our money, to make our wedding as grand as possible, as merry as possible. Yet we're the last ones to enjoy it, if we do.
It's not like we're not happy with others being happy. But don't we get to be happy? Especially at our own wedding?
"Now what? We gotta make our wedding like the back alley now?"
I don't think this issue is binary. What interests me in this video, is not about the couple not being able to enjoy their own wedding, but something else.
If someone asks me should a wedding be grand or not, this will be my answer:
Make it as grand as you can.
That's the important phrase:
as you can.
Which means, whatever left after you subtract the basic expenses for the wedding & the expenses needed for the early marriage life (this is important, many people don't care enough about this), you use it to make your wedding as grand as you can.
And by 'as grand as you can', I mean in your capabilities. Not just financially, but also mentally & emotionally.
Not as grand as possible. Because when you want to make it as grand as possible, you will tend to not make room for the two expenses that I've just mentioned.
Why really?
Especially in Islam, Prophet Muhammad explicitly said that the most blessed marriage is the one with the least expenses
(al-Bayhaqi in his Shu’ab al-Iman & Mishkat al-Masabih).
So isn't going for the grand seems to be contradicting?
My answer is; not necessarily. There is a reason why Prophet Muhammad said this.
He & his followers were not the first people on the Earth. There were many more civilizations & societies that had lived before them.
By default (which means even before Islam), humanity has always been celebrating marriage merrily, to share happiness among the people. I mean, the journey of finding the significant other is not easy, and when you do find someone that is fit enough to be your life partner, it is both overwhelming & exciting. So, weddings ceremony are meant to be grand & enjoyed by both the couple & the public. It is by default a happy event, and we want to share the happiness with others.
It is also, apart from the 'least expenses' part, one of the teachings of Prophet Muhammad; having a wedding ceremony not just to announce that you're married to avoid misunderstandings (which in these days, updating your status is good enough), but to also celebrate and be happy & content.
So this is why I say make it as grand as you can. It is because for you & others to be happy.
The ceremony only lasts for one day, so there are no restrictions to make it special, as long as you don't go overboard & waste all of your money & efforts. The more important thing to remember, is although the wedding ceremony is special, the marriage itself is far more crucial.
When you can find the middle & the best ground, that is the best.
So yeah, make the wedding as best as possible. Because it's never wrong in the first place.
Just remember that it is more important to have the best marriage possible.
\Because just like how it's not wrong to make a great start, the journey itself should be great until the end.
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