Fitting In without Giving In

Ugh, the struggle of fitting in...
The classic, cliche, but true struggle...

You want to fit in, but you don't want to sacrifice that individualness of yours.
But that might be the only obstacle between you and the clique.
You want to stand out, but you don't want to sacrifice being accepted into a clique.
We've been told to be the same, yet when we grow up, we want to stand out. How ironic. (Jay Shetty)

Some people might think that they need to give in if they want to fit in. But that is not necessarily true.

Here's some tips to fit in, while standing out at the same time;

1. Accept, embrace & love yourself.
This is the very first crucial step.

What are your strengths? What are the things about yourself that you cherish?
People come in & go out of your life. They may say a few things while they're at it. So, regardless what others say, you need to first & foremost learn to accept, embrace & love yourself.

2. Be yourself & do your job.
I mean, the fact that we both want to 'be accepted' and/or 'stand out',
when we think about it, it's not our goals in life.
Of course this depends on your beliefs & principles. But so far, I've never heard any religion, society or any successful people preaching the idea that 'be accepted' and/or 'standing out' is the goal. Like, the ultimate goal.

Usually, when we want to join cliques, society, or in general a bunch of people, we usually join it with a purpose. Like for work purpose, studying, socializing, realizing a goal, etc...
So, instead of setting 'be accepted' or 'standing out' as goal,
instead of deliberating what to do or what not to do, to be accepted or standing out,
just do your job. Just accomplish your goals. Just fulfill why you join in the group in the first place.

3. Maintain good relationship with yourself & with other people.
We usually seek out for similarity in a person because we expect them to ease us in maintaining good relationship with the person.

And while they really do, are differences bound to cause the opposite effect?
Are differences actually make it easier to have bad relationships?
Not necessarily, right?

That's why in the matter of standing out, we need to ask the important question; why?
Especially when you stand out at the expense of others. Why? Is it for the necessary reasons? Is it not because of satisfying your own ego?

The same goes to your own individualness & uniqueness. Whenever you express them, ask yourself; is it necessary? Why do you want to do that? Is it for the necessary reasons? Is it not because of satisfying your own ego?

4. Educate yourself & others about your differences & similarities.
Differences & similarities do not just pop up, nor do people just simply made it up. There are instances, concepts, understandings & such, that lead to such aspects.
Study them. Then educate. This not just bring a new understanding, but could be mind-changing.

Educate yourself about differences that occur, and why they happen.
Educate yourself about the current agreement & similarities, and how they happen.

Then, you may also educate others about your own beliefs. About what makes you both different & similar to people. And by educate, I don't mean the bossy style, or the teacher-in-the-classroom style. Just explain diligently, passionately, adequately, accurately, and most importantly, kindly.

And that is how you fit in, without giving in.
I hope this helps. Thank you.